Just wanted to drop in and let you know that the prices for my ebook and physical book have dropped!
Here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/Anna-Koski/e/B077X3Y4SS/ The ebook is now $2.99. The physical copy is now $11.00. So I hope that this makes someone's day!
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Hey guys, so this is going to be a long post but there is a lot I need to unpack. I haven’t really updated you guys on how I have been and how things have been going and that was done deliberately. I didn’t want you guys to worry unnecessarily over me or my life so I kept quiet. This also explains my less than stellar response rate on my comments. I apologize greatly for that, I really do but I hope that once this is all out you will have a better understanding as to why.
Since December I have been having headaches that have grown in frequency and severity. These weren’t like my migraines, which are still being managed with my medication along with my depression, they were new. I stopped having headaches about two months after I started my anti-depressants. So the reemergence of them was concerning but I tentatively ignored it but kept an eye on them. Well they got worse and when January came around I started experiencing serious pressure in my head that never went away and midway through the month my vision started to go funny on my right side and I started having issues with my balance as well as my cognitive function, especially around words. As you might tell, that was concerning, so after about a week of experiencing the new symptoms (Just to make sure they were continuous and not a one off thing), I went to the doctor. I explained my symptoms and he grew concerned as well. I completely blame him for putting the thoughts in my head but he sent me for testing to see if I had any masses, lesions, cysts, bleeds, or aneurysms with the stamp semi-urgent. So I had to wait just a little under two weeks to get my scans, which I spent terrified that I was immanently dying because I was bleeding into my brain or that I was going to die due to a brain aneurysm that would burst. As I said, I blame my doctor for putting those thoughts into my head in the first place. I understand that he was just letting me know what the tests were for but when your head is acting strange and you know something isn’t right, well that just means you think of the worst possible scenario and hopelessly play it in your mind again and again until you practically make yourself sick. So I get my scans done, which they reassured me that if anything was immanently wrong that they wouldn’t let me leave the hospital. They did so that meant I wasn’t going to immediately die. So of course my stressed out and anxious mind immediately jumped onto tumors. What if I had one? What if it had been growing insidiously inside me for years? What if it was a cancerous tumor? I was stuck with these thoughts for about a week total. Which I blame my doctor’s office for. They were supposed contact me to let me know when the report was in and did not, so instead of getting a doctor’s appointment last week I had to get one this week. So I had the weekend for my brain to do that anxiety riddled song and dance about asking very ridiculous questions about a tumor that may or may not exist. (If it did I decided I would name it Taba. Why? Because if I could not laugh at the situation, I was going to utterly ball my eyes out.) So that leads us all the way to today. I had my appointment and, take a big deep breath of relief, because my scans were normal and everything was fine. I had no tumors, no masses, no cysts, lesions, bleeds, or aneurysms. Happy day! … But that then leads me to where we are now. We still don’t know what is officially causing my symptoms. At this point, my doctor and I can only play a game of elimination. We have the big and scary options and things out of the way but now we have to try and figure this out. My doctor’s first thought was inflammation. Now that isn’t inflammation in my brain like viral meningitis, so don’t get scared. He thinks it might be that something in my sinuses are causing an unrelenting pressure against the membranes around them. Which, in turn, would cause them to inflame due to irritation and then a domino effect would follow. To conclude, as my doctor said, that I essentially might have a small amount of pressure on my brain and eye due to inflammation of membranes around my sinuses and it is the reason for my symptoms. Does this explain most, if not all of my symptoms? Yes. Do we know for sure that this is the cause? No. As I said, we are playing a game of elimination and we have to push forward and see. He put me on sinus tabs, to help reduce inflammation, if there is any. We shall see in a few days if that helps reduce the symptoms. If it does, then we have found the cause and can treat it, if not we move onto the next idea. So that is where I am currently. I still feel terrible, still have headaches, still have unrelenting pressure, still have vision issues, still have balance and slight cognitive issues. But I don’t have a tumor named Taba, my brain isn’t attempting to act like a fountain, or blow balloons with my blood vessels or white blood cells. I’m safe from the big and scary things and that is enough for me right now. So don’t worry, while my symptoms are still scary for me, I know that I am going to be okay because there isn’t anything wrong with my brain that could seriously impair or hurt me. As I said, that is enough for me at this point. I need to just keep moving forward because things will be better and get better. |
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